The best book

When you write a blog you sometimes forget one very important thing : People read it.

Or maybe 2 very important things. People read it AND it's NOT FICTION. Not that imaginary life that you always wanted to live. IT S YOUR REAL LIFE.
D'oh.

So sometimes I write stuff and I think it's totally hilarious STORIES

Until you've got a guy telling you that everybody strangely started to call him '' British lover'' . Then you feel REALLY REALLY SMALL.

Annabelle, This book is called your life.

No bullshit innit.

Then you start wondering how these people around take all these stories. Most of them have a good laugh ( I can here them from my room sometimes)

Well, This one was alright too and even added :

'' You can use my real name in your book Annabelle, that's okay ''

One who understood the values of Free advertising. Glad I can help.

Writing a blog about your life has one important impact on it : you tend to give your best . Not in the experience but in the way you see your experience. Writing it helps you get the best out of it and the best in everyone in it . Awesome.

But yet , ROUTINE HAPPENS.

I decided to have a break from my crazy routine. yes, as crazy as it is , when any life becomes your daily life it is becoming a routine. Routine is everywhere. Routine is when you give up on your potential for the sake of comfort.

ROUTINE KILLS . Even in this Life where the unexpected rules. It's just an attitude.

Routine makes you feel too comfortable , you are no longer giving your best.

You know it 's there when you don't think '' we are doing this tonight yay'' but '' we're doing this AGAIN?

So I try to spice up my routine on purpose so I push myself a little further everyday.

When I catch myself thinking that ''cake night is boring'' I know if I think that, the rest of the guests will feel that. That's what being the host really means.

When I feel that, I throw myself a challenge.

The best was when I decided to bake the cake myself. The other guests decided to bake too , as a back up. We all ended up in the kitchen burning cakes together.

We never attracted more people than that night. Super exciting.

Last time was funny too. I could feel the boredom just seeing me cutting a chocolate cake and serve it to people who were watching the Olympics.

Shit, what do I do. If I'm bored, they will be ALL bored. Imagine how boring it is going to be.
So I decided to do a quiz about the Olympics.

EVERYONE was then in the lounge , so keen on it. I obviously made it look like I had planned it 3 years ago. What do i do now. Google. Olympic quiz. Print.
I bullshited my way though it until .... SHIT WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS. Even then I gave my best to stay calm . People absolutely loved it.

Every week it's the same things for us but with different people. That's the challenge. Do your best to change that routine EVERYDAY. Because it's the same, yes, but it's different, oh yeah.

Make the ordinary extraordinary and watch things around you totally change. you give your best,

You know it's too late though when :

You no longer see the lovely guests having tea and cake in our beautiful garden as potential new friends.
You're more like :

'' Who the F**** is in MY garden?''

Mmmm time for a breaaaaak.

So what do I do? I GO TO ANOTHER HOSTEL. Sure. But it's all different . Because you got the hell out of that comfort zone that makes you lazy and complacent.

Here I go to our Brighton hostel last night with British lover and other friends this one will stay I guess) .

And you start giving your best again. New people, new surroundings, new exciting stories. You don't want to hear stories from people living in Brighton. Actually , yes you might want to.

That's how you end up talking to 64 year old Spiritual Healer who came down to party in Brighton with her grand daughter. Random? Yay.

Annabelle, you have now killed your routine you may start to live again.

That's when you feel alive again. When you stop being caught up by your story and all the bullshit you think your poor self. and get out there and give your best.

If you don't save yourself from that, No one will. ( harsh innit)

To celebrate I was drinking a glass of wine while texting Mama to NOT drink a glass of wine since we 're both on a healthy diet plan. She was having one too. I knew it.

Canterbury this morning

'' Soooo ? '' 6 pairs of eyes were looking at me when I got Home. Mama and the interns.
I did not write a post this morning. They wanted to now ZE story.
'' I watched telly with my best friend eating pizza at his flat ''

Reaction :

1/ Boooooring

2/ Oh dear, she did not get any , how many rooms are we going to deep clean this week?

Hey, it's my book innit? , eating pizza catching up meant the world to me .

We spent the day adding new pages to the Kipps family book all giving our best in our very different ways.
You know when you've made it , well to me anyway, when your life could be a book YOU would love to read.
Whether other people like reading it is not your problem . You don't like what you see? Change it, write a new page. There is nothing to change or add. Give the best of yourself for yourself

Shit how do I end this article nicely. I usually ALWAYS have super cool endings.

Mmmm ....

Text message as I was writing this

Boss : '' Congratulations.''

Tax return I think. I 'm freaking loaded yeah. How much? 3000? More? Australia here I come for a couple of weeks and.........

Me : ( still wanted to double check) FOR WHAT ?

Boss : Our Canterbury Hostel won the best staff award for last June in the whole of Europe.

Good endings come to you if you can spot them that is. it's a Just a matter of timing.

And Guess what? I was over the moon. Way happier than if it was the tax return ( ok as happy) . What I just learnt  for myself was gold.

What you give , is what you get.

So Why give less than the best ?

Your life , your book.

( good ending innit)

Everything will be fine

When you start your shift at Kipps thinking you're in control and you know exactly what's going to happen today , you d better quit and go work at the Premier Inn.

At Kipps, if you don't welcome the unexpected , you will have a long , long day.

Unexpected : events that you cannot control or fix. It's usually for the worse.
I have the Sunday morning shift. Starts at 7 something , and by the time you finish
 at 4 you are a new person.
I hadn't had it for a while so I had some sort of expectations.
7.30 I finally look at my peanut butter toast and coffee and thought '' I deserve you''
I woke up at 5.20 , wrote my last blog post ,ran and arranged breakfast for guests. I had the golden 30 minutes in front me. Between the moment you arrive and the moment the first guests rush in for breakfast. You expect peace.
Sunday morning they either wake up at 7 or they don't at all , you have to kick them out of their room at 11am.
Today? They ALL woke up at 7am .
I'm in the kitchen explaining the breakfast times in Italian English , thinking bout my peanut butter sandwich that I did not have.

'' Eight O'cloooock. Ochoooo'' .

Shit it is Spanish?

And mama was up too. That? Not good news. It usually starts with : you know what happened night

'' You know what happened last night?'' she starts.

Oh dear.

I let go of the italians. I was now worried.

Last night 1 am

Mama '' you can't smoke in the garden it is closed''

Drunk Australian female guest '' I am not receiving orders from f**** Europeans , don't look at me like this Ass hole, to Muscular Romanian receptionnist.

15 minutes and some insults later, Aussie guest and kiwi boyfriend were deported to the street by immigration mamma.

They could hear her on the street. '' F***** foreigners!''

Australians in Australia : angels

You expect the same from them anywhere else in the world.

Australians in Europe ? mmmmm

Flashback Kipps Brighton a few months ago
Aussie guests : I'm sorry for bringing a girl back into the dorm , I was drunk and unaware. I will not do it again.

Me : yeah right. I've heard that before. The next thing they usually say is '' I'm here for a good time mate, not for a long time''

See what Europe is doing to people? They probably did not expect it to be like this either...

Conclusion : Wanna see aussies who are thinking straight ...... Go to Australia.
　
'' Ok so they're gone right? I ask her , trying to get over the fact that I was pissed off that Mama got insulted by some random strangers.

The door bell rings , it's 7.55am . My toast is still waiting for me in the office.

'' Sorry we're late'' 2 young boys from Belgium were standing at the door.

WHAT?

'' We were due to check in at 6AM , so we re a bit late''

SURE! So the Premier Inn is first left and then turn right and.......

It was their first time in a backapckers. They expected to go to bed straight away. I explain calmly that other people are sleeping in their beds right now. and that check in is at 2 pm.

Big eyes staring at me :

'' So what do we do now .... Mummy ?''

I take them to the breakkast room and tell them to sit in the lounge after.

The breakfast room is now PACKED with people because left unsupervised for 15 whole minutes.

Half of the hostel rushed in and followed the Italians who could not care less about the paper that said '' Breakfast is from 8 to 10''

EIGHT. OCHO. Whatever.

The german intern, responsible for breakfast starts her shift at 8am, expecting it to be like '' Everyday'' .

'' WTF is all that?'' she asks me , her organised German side taking over.

'' Bloody italians I say. You See now why we don't like them in France? They re just EXACTLY the same as us! '' I joke. Joking is the way I cope with the unexpected. I'm such a Brit.

In reality I'm trying to convince myself. '' Everything is going to be fine Annabelle......'' . and it was just 8am.

I ask the italian group for money for breakfast .They understand what they want : NOTHING.

The woman who can speak proper English is staying in the other hotel. says the 12 year old boy with them.

Right. ME WANT MONEY. I tell them , holding my piece of toast. My coffee is going cold.

I see them going in out in out.

the 2 Belgian kids were now expecting me to tell them what to do next.

'' Where can young people like US go in Canterbury now?'' he asks me.

Add , ''you old fart'' to that and you'll get how I felt.

''On a Sunday at 9 am in Canterbury , I would say that the coolest place is .... HERE. '' I say

Like me , All they wanted to hear was '' It's all going to be fine'' But you don't say that to men. You make them FEEL that ( lesson hard learnt)

The other half of the hostel has decided to have breakfast at 8.30am.

SUNDAY. isn't it the day everyone else CHILLS OUT ?

Flashback New Year's eve 2008.
Me to boss : Do you think we can drink tonight ?
Boss : yeah , No one wakes up early on New Year's day , we can have a nice early start with coffee and that.
The next day the WHOLE hostel wanted breakfast at 7am. Forget about the coffee and take aspirin. Happy New Year , us.
Never expect anything at Kipps.
　
　
It's now 10 am I ve been running around, getting money , trying to make sure everyone is ''fine'' . My toast is still untouched.

'' We can clear breakfast now'' I announce to the intern.

'' No, Santa Claus is having breakfast''

WHAT?

I get in and that guy who looks like Santa was changing the world with another guest.

Conversation :

Santa : '' If I was President , beer would be free for all, and there would be women for each man''

Other guest , '' Eyes filled with admiration : I vote for you. ''

President and Prime minister were then asked to move their philosophy to the lounge.

I'm still keeping an eye on the italians , the intern now tells me that she does not know where she's sleeping tonight because she's not on the system.

'' Everything is going to be fine'' I tell her.

No, I did not expect that. All you can do is hope for the best and strive for it.

I'm doing the cleaning schedule for the day. WHAT? 4 staff? ONLY?

We had lost 2 staff members recently. They had gone back home. It's like a part of us was gone with them ( yes we all are very close) and we did not have time or space to get over the loss.

I'm now having my cold coffee. The romanian night shift comes in after a chaotic night sleep and tells me his side of the Aussie story .

I send him home.

'' Breakfast was included !'' the italian woman who can speak English had finally arrived.

Be strong Annabelle, everything is going to be fine!

I take my calculator and explains that this number is the number with no breakfast.

22 minutes later she gives up and hands me her card
I got my bloody 10 quid in the end. VICTORY.

I start chatting with her and she tells me that they haven't planned anything for their trip and it's all a bit scary for them. They want to go to Scotland but they don't know what to expect.

I smile. Ok so it was all ALSO about that in the end, wasn't it?

'' I am sure you will make it '' I tell her meaning it.

She thanks me and off they went.

The Belgian kids are now asking me to play pool.
Mmmm sorry. Tiny bit busy right now.
　
11am. All problems from the morning got magically solved. The rest of the staff comes on. We tell the 2 million stories that happened.

'' Annabelle, repeat, I don't follow you. Italian what? Santa who?'' Dutchie is staring.

Oh dear. It's only 11 am and I ALREADY don't make sense. I expected more from me.

I send everyone to clean different rooms and try to go back to my own comfort zone aka deep cleaning.

'' Annabelle, come!'' the girls sensed my stress and had prepared a pile of duvets for me to jump on. We take a photo of that and post it on facebook so I could put a nail on the coffin of my job :

'' Easy job you have Annabelle, doing nothing but having fun. I envy your lifetyle'' my friends would say aftewards.

I smile and I try to imagine how many of my friends would actually handle the permanent unexpectedness of my job. And how we constantly re assure people about things we are not pretty sure ourselves.

 I come up with.... a few. But they can't know, can they???

I pressure the interns with another picture of the dorm I'll be taking at the end. The finished product cannot be less than perfect. It will be on facebook.

I go back later and I could hear them

'' Annabelle , you're going to kill us , we can't do as good as what you expect....'' the girls are scared shitless.

Expectations..... You don't want to start me on that.

A few re adjustments later the photo was taken , and we managed to finish the whole hostel before 2. Sometimes I think there are fairies helping us ( or is it the ghost)

I check in a couple of Spanish people later that afternoon. It's their first time in a hostel . I show them to the dorm and I can sense their distress.

The hungry, tired , insecure staff member in me wanted to say '' Get on with it , it's just a dorm. Bed. Sleep'' But the compassionate human being that I actually am took over. ( thank God or whoever)  I remembered.

September 2004

Kipps Staff : '' Annabelle, the private room you're in now is booked out from tomorrow, you'll have to move to a dorm''
Me ( a guest at the time) '' A what? Sharing with OTHER PEOPLE? OMG. This is so unexpected.
The first night I spent in the dorm, I cried because I was too scared. D'oh.

Same dorm , NOW

'' Everything is going to be fine , we're like a big family here. Any problems come to us '' I tell my Spanish guests
They look more relaxed now,

4pm after a whole day of tellin people that everything is going to be fine I stop work and I desperatly want to hear for myself. Me, my bank account , my original lifestyle, my blog that makes me feel I'm walking around naked because in it I say everything , ARE WE GOING TO BE FINE?

I go back to my empty room. No facebook message or emails. I face it for myself.

I cannot stop being strong. Not allowed sorry.

Breathe.

Later that day I catch myself writing '' With this Life filled with unexpected , no wonder I need a strong man to put his arm around me and tell me '' YOU are going to be fine Annabelle''

What did I do? I sent this to my Quebecois. Another bad move Annabelle. I expected the worst.

The answer came in a few hours. It was , for the least unexpected . One sentence

'' YOU are going to be fine , Annabelle''

Aaaaaaw cute. But he's NOT here, is he??? I switch off the lap top and go face the real world.

'' We have something for you '' the interns tell me . Poor girls I had persecuted them all day with cleaning standards. A card. The envelope read :

'' To our favourite deep cleaner and blogger''

And the card read '' Thank you for introducing us to the Art of deep cleaning with you '' There was love hearts everywhere.

How unexpected. Wow. ( tears)

'' Sit now, I cut your hair , I don't like it '' Big Sister now tells me.
'' But ...''
'' SIT NOW''

10 minutes later I had a new haircut and she had also got me a new top from the charity shop.

I never in a million years tought that my evening would turn up this way.

Mama had prepared a yummy meal and the family was all having dinner together, joking together.

We were all over the recent problems but they had made us stronger.

I look around me at this bunch of people calling each other family. German, Dutch , Romanian, Brits and me.... the citizen of the world still French enough to think that the unexpected was a bad thing.
Unexpected : events that you cannot control or fix. There is no need to be scared , It's ALWAYS FOR THE BEST. Synonym : miracle.

How do I know? All  my distress on the other side of the world , all my jobs unexpectedly lost got me BACK HERE to my first love , Kipps Canterbury., wthout EVER expecting it . And that, is a miracle in itself

No matter what you think your life should be like. If you let go of your expectations trust that you'll get where you want to go  anyway and never give up the fight , chances are you will get to an even better place than you ever thought it could be possible.

WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE  FINE.

A sense of normality ...

Mama is back from Brighton. Everyone can start living and eating again. Happy Kipps Life can resume.
There is nothing more hilarious than people telling the story of their experiennce in Brighton .

I can see her in gay clubs and walking home amongst the usual drunks that we don't even notice when we do live there.

'' There was this girl falling down because she was too drunk. I wanted to help her but she was too rude. Then the police came....

WELCOME TO BRIGHTON.

The best is when she decided to take photos of gardens on her way back to the station at 6am.

'' There were people sleeping in the Gardens Annabelle, LOADS of drunk people!''

WELCOME TO BRIGHTON

The other friend was listening , slightly shocked.

Why do I think it's normal? When you live in Brighton you either embrace it or you move out.

I embraced it quite quickly and got used to the sound of drunks faster than the sound of the sea gulls eating fish and chips outside my window.

We all have a different idea of what normal means to us.

Normal : The way the average people live, how you should live your life to be accepted by others.
To me , normal life involves living with people from everywhere in this world.

Normal life invloves meeting 10 strangers when I go from my bedroom to my toilet. It is working where I live and live where I work. It is romanian women knowing better than me what is good for me.

'' Annabelle. Sit. You HAVE TO EAT pork . !''

'' But I'm a vegeterian....''

'' EAT NOW''

And just like that , there was meat in my normal life again.

My favourite words, usually only pronounced my mother once every 3 months were back into my daily normality :

'' Dinner is ready!''


'' Annabelle you need Man more often. I 'll make you sexy'' Big Sister says as I was deep cleaning yet another room yesterday. I smell of bleach and I'm wearing a baggy tee shirt with stains on it.

What's the point I think. I'm not allowed to sleep with ANYONE now. ( anyone=guests)

I made vows for Kipps.

That, also sounds like '' normal'' to me.

'' Wear this.. She throws clothes at me that she constantly buys for me in charity shops.

I'm hafl naked in reception putting them on. They always fit perfectly. She's ze best personal shopper ever ( contact me for details)

Normal life is bossing around my favourite dutch interns and THEN play nintendo DS with her fighting like sisters.
　
I met a few people for whom normal meant different things too. The one lady who retired on Thurday morning in the USA and was on the plane to Europe with a bike on Thurday night with no return ticket. Thats normal.The people walking from Canterbury to Rome with a 12kg backpack. Normal. People cycling to Scotland. Normal.

Doing a BBQ for strangers every Saturday is also normal for us.

Last night , I looked at the people we have this week. Backpackers from New Zealand, France, USA , German , Belgium. My mission is to sit with them and find something '' normal'' to talk about so it includes EVERYONE. Good luck me.

Backpackers are my specialty. I went on a ''professional trip '' ( that's how I call it now) to understand them better. In the end, their sense of normal was once mine.

We talk about hostels , bunk beds, the weight of the backpack, the lack of money , couch surfing, how we are never alone on a trip because we always meet people.

I also impress 2 or 3 cute male backpackers with my traveling stories ( who wouldn't)

'' I lived in a Buddhist monastery in South Thailand for a month. It was a concrete mattress you see. And there were scorpions and that''

The other staff walks by thinking :

'' Here she goes AGAIN''

Right. One day I will go travelling again and come back with new stories. Promise.

I always have to adapt my conversations to the people living with us. That's (also) the beauty of my job So this week, backpackers. EASY.

But last week ......

Flashback last Saturday.

'' Are all these kids eating? Where are the parents?'' I ask Mama, freaking out.

I'm out of my comfort zone. The hostel is full of ....... families.

Oh dear. What am I going to talk about ??????

This , to me is abnormal. You either have a family OR you live in a backpackers hostel.

'' How old are you I say to that little girl''

'' I'm 7 , you?''

'' 23'' I announce loud. ''33'' I whisper to her ear'

Annnabelle, no need for that. You are THE ONLY SINGLE PERSON HERE.

'' You're older than my mum!'' she says jumping on my back.

Now that makes me feel better.....

I probably was so much fun that I had 3 little kids following me EVERYWHERE by the end of the evening. they did the dishes with me , served sausages to people for me and did whatever I asked them to do ( the interns felt their job was in danger)

They had adapted to my sense of normality and were loving it.

'' Girls , this person is from Germany. Show me Germany on the map'' The girls were happily jumping on my bed showing me to different countries of the world.

There was no gap in the conversation. By the end of the evening I thought it was ''normal'' to have kids in my daily life at the hostel.

'' I'm gonna put the girls to bed '' I announce the parents whom I met the day BEFORE.

'' Sure, Annabelle '' they answer, sipping a glass of red.

The next day they gave drawings and present. How cute.

Kids love me. And then? I become their nanny.....

Lesson learnt : kids adapt to YOUR sense of normal. Does it mean that you can have kids and live YOUR life?

Wow. REALLY? Happy by lesson learnt. vision of normality slightly changed , I email my Canadian man back in Ottawa . We email everyday actually. ( the one I had a relationship with for a whole 48hours in June) , stupidly telling him about how cool it was to have kids in a backpackers' hostel.

It took him a whole week to reply, and he gladly avoided the subject.

SILLY ANNABELLE. Keep your sense of normal to yourself will ya.

Yesterday I went on a trip to the beach with my 58 year old Spiritual lesbian friend. We were happpy to have someone to talk about normal stuff to. Normal stuff such as past lives or spiritual healing. Things only witches can talk about.

It felt good to feel normal.

I then got back to the hostel and caught up with the craziness.

It felt good to be normal there too.
　
My vision of normal is changing everyday here. No, you cannot come into this life with your old thought patterns. Not working. You have to create a new sense of normality for yourself , change what you've been brought up to think to what you REALLY wish to think.

Then and only then , you will realise that living a normal life actually means : accepting to live the Life that YOU love.

The only norm is to do what makes your heart sink.

The responsible adult

'' A guy checked in and he s only traveling with a small suitcase and a fan. He's here for a whole week though'' said one of the staff last week . The strange man became the infamous '' guest with the comb'' .

'' Maybe he is on the run and the police is looking for him''

Everyone laughs at the impossibility of the scenario. I smile. I know that ANYTHING can happen in a hostel.

Flashback Kipps Brighton 2009

It's 7 am I get in to work to catch up with the usual list of what happened the day before , what is it we have to fix, how often the fire alarm was set off and how many complaints by the neighbours...

I was the responsible adult there. Aka the manager.

I see my night staff still up. And that , for a manager is VERY bad news. He's also a good friend of mine and I know from his face something big had happened.

I see a suitcase that belongs to a guest of ours. James. A middle aged man who s been with us for th past 3 months, almost a family member. He had even given me management tips and definitely helped me to be a responsible adult.

'' OMG what happened to James? Is he ok ? Did he have an accident?''

'' His name is NOT James'' he answers , still in shock.

WHAT?

He shows me an article with our friend's face on it. '' WANTED''

A conman. Sorry not A conman. THE most wanted conman in the UK. He was on crime watch a couple of days ago ( our TV mysteriously broke that night and we could not watch it) Someone spotted him in Brighton. Now the cops came to let us know last night.

OH dear..... So much for responsible adult.

Back to present , Kipps Canterbury while cleaning
We finally found what was in the guy with the comb's suitcase, beside the fan ( Bringing a fan to England. WHY????)
3 Asterix albums , chocolate , sleeping pills and ONE polo shirt.

Mmmmm ....

3 hours later he goes to the intern with his key , still staring.and said with a mysterious look:

'' My job in Canterbury is over. I am going now'' and checked out 2 days early.

I could not even make him a hot chocolate..........

Our group of French teenagers left too. It was like losing cousins and that. They only stayed for 5 days but time does not count here. Only experience does. And we had good laughs. And good adult conversations too.

The leaders were looking forward to going home and stop being the Adults. BO-RING

Responsible adult : the person who is serious and has to show the example at all times , for the young generation to follow the perfect path of wisdom.

ie : BO-RING.

'' Annabelle, you used to be the manager at Brighton right? What happened ? '' The Dutch intern asks. She's smiling today , she only has to make 29 beds. I'm not forcing her to clean the hostel with a toothbrush.

'' I became boring so I went travelling. Here am I now '' I answer, still hating to talk about it.

YOU? BORING? She does not get it. Yeah , I'm working hard on the non boring bit now. I gather everyone noticed.

Flashback Kipps Brighton 2009
'' Shhhh here she comes'' . I could hear , everytime I got in . No, we can't tell her that , she's the manager''

Life is lonely at the top....

Don't put your feet on the couch , the kitchen is closed now, no you can't cook , no you can't walk around the hostel wearing the staff's dress, YOU ARE A MAN.

'' WTF happened here last night? '' I say cleaning yet anoher vomit from a french regular who had too much to drink AGAIN.

Well , The new staff member took the guests to a pub and then.... SHe got them to her place for a strip poker.

WHAT? We had just hired her. Why can't people play by the rules for God's sake?

The rules, the rules , the rules...... I WAS THE RULES.

Another warning I had to give. When you work , you can't play strip poker with the guests ok?

WHATEVER. was the treatement I usually got.

I was so into the rules that one day I saw that girl in the mirror that was no longer me. I never go out drinking with anyone. Because I'm the manager. I can't laugh and share crazy stories with anyone , I'm the manager. I live in my flat alone. I'm the manager.


It was 5 to midnight on 31st of December 2009. I just put one of my drunk guests to bed after  holding  her hair back while she was vomiting and I thought she was stupid. I could not relate to her anymore. I felt negative, jugdmental and bitter. It freaked THE HELL OUT OF ME.

I had ceased to understand people.

I looked at this girl in the mirror and swore: NEVER AGAIN.

10 days later I was in a farm in the jungle in Malaysia living with deadly scorpions

Welcome to your midlife crisis Annabelle ( or is it the teenager one?)

At 5 to midnight on 31st December 2010 I was in Sydney , Australia thinking about that story drinking with the staff I mentionned at the beginning of this post. He had invited me over for New Years. He still calls me boss but I'm no longer the responsible adult. I can share crazy stories with people. I am one of them.

I still called Kipps Brighton at dead midnightUK time that night.

Back to present , Canterbury West station
'' Look after my garden okay?'' My manager asks me.

I'm almost in tears as I put her on the train.

Don't cry , you have to look after the family she tells me, be strong, Annabelle''

She is going to Brighton to work at the other Kipps for 12 WHOLE HOURS.

What are we going to do without our ''Mama'' ? When she s not around, nobody eats or knows what to do. Mama is our mummy. She belongs here!

And now she's giving me the '' You are now the responsible adult'' treatement.

I called her later that night and she was obviously enjoying NOT being the one in charge for a night .

'' I served shots to a hen party Annabelle , that was crazy now I'm gonna have pizza with the Italian intern . He's hot you'd love him''

Ah Kipps Brighton........
　
'' Who is the responsible adult for 12 hours now?'' All the young eyes are looking at.... ME.
Mmmmm Let me think........ NO.

I was handed the phone as I was having a nap later that day.

A voice in french

' So I want to book this room I told you about the other day but I was at work and I could not call because of my responsibilities. and ..............

HELLO I M IN MY UNDERWEAR RIGHT NOW........ WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

I get dressed and take the booking. 13 minutes 33 of french grown up talk

'' Why would I give you my credit card number? Are you a serious place? I don't really trust the British'' .

Darling, I AM FRENCH.

.... And the bathroom , is it clean? Because we need clean you know, can you translate the price in Euros. Bloody English and their pounds we do not get it.''

STAY IN YOUR BLOODY COUNTRY THEN

She was the spitting image I have of a responsible adult. I have Been brought up with this idea.

Something about ceasing to understand the world and play by THE rules.

Still freaks the hell out me.

So what did I do on my night off ? I went to get drunk with the young ones on a pub crawl

Of course., Annabelle had yet another point to prove.

There I was cheating at pool drinking shots of Tequila, making people laugh with various jokes that thank God , I forgot.
'' So what room are we deep cleaning tomorrow Annabelle hahahha''

VERY FUNNY

There was also a 48 year old guest with us. Her boyfriend was from Germany , she 's irish and lives in Canada. She does couch surfing , drinking and laughing. She is also a serious teacher.

Admiration. Role model. I wish I could be her.....
　
Later that night the 2 young staff disapeared.

'' Where are the boys? '' I ask

'' They want to go and buy a bottle of alcohol and drink it at the hostel.

I glance at my watch , almost midnight.

I run on the street and caught them

'' You are NOT bringing any alcohol back to the hostel. You 're not messing up the staff's shift. He just got back from holidays . Respect his work.I'm not impressed and Mama would not like this. '' I was now dead sober.

The 2 boys were looking at their feet and apologized.

I got back in and told the girls that if there is ANY problem tonight , refer to me.

'' Annabelle, You are tough and you are also fun. You act your age when it's necessary.We know we can rely on you. That is cool''

She got me the next round of shots.

So... maybe I was never that boring manager in the end?

Responsible adults : People who forgive the imperfection in others because they've been there, done that BUT people who also stand up for their values and protect the people/ things they care for.


Play by your own rules. Because only YOU know what is worth fighting for. ...

Pushing ourselves

It's 11.05pm , just as I thought this day was over and I could go to bed after a very full day, I was called in a dorm by my manager to translate something in french. I push myself and go.
I get in and 10 pairs of french eyes are staring at me , expecting me to translate into NORMAL words what this romanian woman from New Zealand was telling them in that strange language called English ( Why can't the whole world speak French?)

Something about a ghost, Oh dear. She was trying to scare the hell out of them. So I translate the story of Claire, the little ghost girl we have in the top room in Kipps. This story has been passed on from kipps generation to kipps generation translated in 222 languages , even in British English.

They don't seem that impressed, the French kids. English ghost... whatever ( I know the French. Inside, they are panicking) My manager goes and the teachers ( the ones I had a conversation with in the garden last night) ask me how we could scare the kids even more.

I had a brilliant idea. What I thought was brilliant ''at the time''.

I get the staff member on shift and asks him to cut the power off in that particular room. We hear shouts from upstairs. They are panicking. I get up , slam the door shut. They are now freaking out.

Scaring the shit out of french teenagers must be my favourite thing to do ( something about revenge being an ex teacher) .

We turn the power off and on a couple of times and we think it's hilarious. The teachers are loving it too.

The manager gets in:

'' WTF are you doing???'' I was having a shower and the power went off and on and off and on . she says , not really impressed.

We did not switch the power off in one of the rooms. We cut half of the hostel off.

Annabelle, 12 years old, works in a hostel.

''Sorry''.

To prove my serious I went to deep clean the kitchen. I really need to find something else btw because I will have deep cleaned the whole hostel VERY SOON. And I start to love it too much. Something about pushing your limits....

Earlier that day

I get in to work this morning and the Dutch intern was already in the dorm.
'' U okay? '' I ask her
'' I was okay before I was told I was deep cleaning with you AGAIN'' she answers grumpily. She loves it. She just doesn't know it yet.

Hostel work is all about pushing yourself, go beyond your limits , and be a better person.

''WHATEVER''.

We don't really like to push ourselves do we?

I had experienced the same thing earlier that day.

'' Annabelle, we 've got to go now''
'' I can't go , I have to finish my article '' I say. I always say that. Like I'm on a dead line and someone is paying me to write or something . Get REAL YOU 're the one who's paying to write. D'oh.

The truth is that I did not want to go. It was pushing my limits too far.

'' Annabelle , NOW'' the manager says.

I wish you could hear her. You would then know that when she says that , you do not have a choice.

10 minutes later I was standing on a scale in Boots pharmacy with a 50p coin that SHE gave me.

Flashback years ago : Me , chain smoking. '' I will NEVER stop smoking. I would not cope with the putting on weight bit''
I quit over a year ago , in Murwillumbah Australia. I forgot to smoke one day. D'oh.

I was now about to face the weight bit for the first time.


I put the money in and expect the machine to yell '' YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT. you big fat cow , but the machine is British and is very discreet. it Just gives you a ticket.

+4kilos.....

That's okay Annabelle, 2 in each breast is perfect , one of my English male friend would say. His nickname is ''pervert''.

'' You're very sexy she says .I think you are perfect. ''But I'm not a lesbian '' she adds.

She had just crushed my dream of ever sleeping with my manager. D'oh.

It's so easy to let yourself go. She weighs herself too and faces it. Right.Motivation to lose the extra weight 100% . we then go get slimming pills from a health shop. We even swear to the salesman that next time he'll see us ,we'll look like Kate Winslet ( before she put on weight)

We swear fidelity to our dear diet. We get up our road and our 80 something neighbour gets out to say '' come on girls, run faster''

WTF?????

Everyone is supporting us. We will not surrender to temptation.

Flashforward to end of day :

'' Annabelle I had a wine when you were gone..... ''
'' I'm way more sophisticated. I had a Gin and Tonic''
Surrendering : done.

'' Working and living in a hostel is all about pushing yourself. '' I explain to the Dutch intern as we are deep cleaning a dorm . We are now on all fours scraping the dust off the floor with a knife.

Bla bla bla. she thinks. She loves it. She just does not know it yet.

It is true that living and working together with different strangers is pushing yourself everyday a bit further. Everything changes all the time. We say good bye to guests , get to know others , make sure the entertainment keeps going. There is no room for '' crashing on the sofa and being lazy''

We have about a million new experiences everyday , new stories , new people and when you write about it you just wonder '' what story / experience I am going to write down?''

It's like living a full month of ''normal life'' in just One day.

My boundaries are always tested and pushed everyday. So I don't have many left.

2 main ones. My weight and my bank . Oh and I want the world to understand me. But you already knew that huh.
'' Come in you should see that'' the dutch intern says to other staff members and they all gather at reception and start watching ME like a movie. Only the pop corn was missing.

'' I hate it I hate it. Yes , I hate banks. Why would they have 2 million damn passwords . Like people will steal my money , I don't care , it's THE BANK's money anyway. I don't have money. I never do. This thing is pissing me off now''
I'm on the computer, talking to myself trying to buy phone top up to my friend and my bank won't let me do it. I'm really agitated now. It just does not work. And I ve got the money on the account. I think..........

It finally works and I throw myself into my friend's arms like I just won an Olympic medal.

Me and my bank. A love story. I get over it , the next experience is coming right now.

My friend who works at the other hostel posted by mistake pictures on OUR facebook page. I realise as I see the pictures that my friend from Canada, who had been with me and supported me through my management time in  the Brighton hostel  was leaving the next day forever and I will not see her again.

Tears. '' can't let go of the past'' tears. The hardest ones in this lifestyle that is constantly changing.

'' What's wrong now?'' a workmate asks.

'' She saw pictures of her friend and she's devastated she can't go to Brighton to say good bye''
this is SO UNFAIR. I wanna go.

Annabelle, 15 years old, works in a hostel

It's 8pm and I hear the guests waiting for their guide in the lounge. We organize guided tours of Canterbury.
Who's the guide?
ME.
I'm in reception , devastated.

Right. Transformation. I've been doing this for years now. No matter how you feel in the inside , you have to give a good time to the guests. It's all about pushing yourself.

Breathe in , breathe out , check the year the Cathedral was built ( I check every week and forget every week)
GO.

'' Hey guyyyyyyys'' I say , faking it.

10 minutes later I was no longer faking anything . I had forgotten all about my pain. I was doing my favourite thing in the WHOLE world. Talking to strangers from different cultures.

I learnt that the South African guy learnt Zulu at school , the Aussie girl is fluent in Indonesian , the Kiwi bloke thinks Mamite is too thick over here. the Brits show off their London 2012 tee shirts.
I am showing them around Canterbury telling them about English culture. That makes the Brit smile. A girl with a Made in France tattoo who knows so much and is so passionate about taking the piss out of Britain with a very British humour.. No there is no one like me ( thank God or whoever)

I forget all my worries. I'm living the dream again. MYdream. We visit the cathedral , I take them to the Pub. There is nothing more hilarious than a bunch of strangers from different countries chatting together The Aussie girl is now showing Australian money to the rest of them. She does not know why the 2 dollar coin is smaller than the one dollar coin ( mystery)
The german intern asks the Kiwi guy about the population of New Zealand.
'' Wrong question that 'll upset him'' I tell her, discreetly.
He answers. The Aussie girl is laughing at and he hates it. I love the way I understand the Kiwi vs Aussie rivalry. Because I lived there.

'' I'd like to go to Australia one day too but how can I get the money?'' the german intern asks.

'' Darling ,don't be silly , go on your credit card! '' I answer. Everyone laughs. Because everyone here can relate to that. It makes us all feel safe.

What were the odds of us ever meeting in this world? This job for me is like a daily miracle. I meet and speak to REAL people from REAL countries EVERYDAY . Together, everyday we push the frontier of ignorance a little further and we have a good laugh.

That's what makes you want to go travelling on your credit card. You want to experience it for yourself so you can bring it back and be even better at understanding travellers. No one feels stupid around this table right now. We've all been there, done that and got a London 2012 tee shirt.

We walk home talking about the Kipps Hostel Lifestyle with the German intern. She tells me she loves it and will love it for the next 3 months. But, how can you live like this for a long period of time?

How about the things everyone does that you no longer do in this life? Like going to work and get back , take your shoes off and lie on the sofa in your underwear, get some private time with a boyfriend, get married , have a '' real'' family....
I can relate to what she's saying too . I crave for this normality too sometimes. I crave for big arms around me and someone teling me '' You'll be ok Annabelle, I'm here to protect you now''
I can't lie. I ALSO want that too sometimes. When everything is changing so fast and you constantly push yourself , you feel so unsafe too sometimes. WTF is going to happen tomorrow??

It is really true that in a hostel , you have to push yourself every minute of the day. Always under scrutiny , your private time means a walk in the countryside and your friends are your family.

It challenges what you ve always been told about how Life should be lived and how you should see the world. We go back to the hostel and we catch up with the latest gossip sipping a camomille tea . So much happened in 2 hours. One guest refused to sign the registration card because it was not clear what we meant by '' if room left untidy charges will apply''

( What a pain in the *** )

the light in the bathroom was not working and they had to jump on the bath to fix it, the french kids went shopping in Ashford and their room is a mess, the manager has listened to a guests moan over his recent divorce for the past hour.

I look around me and I realise that this is my world. No matter how much it challenges what I've always been told about life and how much I think I need a ''normal life'' sometimes and I know that one day , I will find this balance between private and public, that there will be no need to sacrifice any aspect of Life for this Life. This will just become '' my nornal Life''.

In the end , there are no so many ways to achieve your dreams. PUSH YOURSELF.

Feeling different ...

'' Why do we have to deep clean every single room Annabelle?'' asks the intern

I explain that places like us, that are a bit different , with a family , relaxed vibe have to work twice harder to be taken seriously!

'' But we are serious!'' she exclaims

'' Yes but The world does not know we are , though. Not everyone can see it' I say , with emotion.

Now Am I talking about the place or about ME.

That's always the question innit.
　
I go get a another cup of coffee and sit in the lounge before I start work. There's a couple of guests I know from the day before, a few new ones ( how did they get there?)

I start joking about Australians and rowing with the girl from Melbourne I checked in a few days ago.
She does not seems to be laughing at all ( it was a really bad joke indeed)
She's staring at the public computer . Oh dear. I exactly knew what was going on. .
I wait , counting. in my head . 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 .... she burst out crying.
'' I don't know where to stay tonight , I haven't booked anything , It's so scary. I should have planned it all I feel so STUPID''

STUPID : the way we feel when we're trying out a new way of Life amongst people who are NOT.
Numbers of day I felt stupid this year ( I'm currently counting ALL days since the beginning of this year. It could take a while)

Flashback Melbourne January 2012.

I'm in a car with that stranger who gave me a lift from Sydney . 10 hours and a night in a tent in the middle of nowhere later we're now approaching Melbourne.
'' So where do you want me to drop you off then?'' He asks.
Oh shit. I did not think that one through. It's dark, raining I ve never been here before , I don't know anyone and I haven't booked a hostel.
I feel so STUPID. How I can do this???

He finally drops me off at that local hostel he knows. It's called '' The Nunnery'' I don't know if they have a bed. I feel so unsafe and stupid, this is not funny.

The receptionnist gives me the last bed. And he also gave me his dinner too. Instant connection between us 2, he's a traveller. A few hours later I was helping him clean the kitchen talking about England... and Kipps. '' Sorry I don't work here, I checked in 2 hours ago'' I would say to guests coming to me. Yes, I am made for this job.

This had become my comfort zone in Melbourne. I went back to when I got dumped, sad, happy, lost a job... He made me feel safe again. After all , what I'm doing is not that stupid. ?

'' Don't worry you're Home here'' I tell the Aussie girl after telling her all about my Stupid moments ( it took a while I'm almost late for work)

'' I'll book you in for another night We'll make you a cuppa and pancakes tonight. If you want to visit somewhere else we've got family in Brighton ( oops I meant hostel)

'Oh and who's stupid by the way, you who are on the other side of the world visiting England and about to study in Spain or the people who are stitting on their sofa watching telly to forget they're scared to lose their 9 to 5 job? . It would be stupid to miss the opportunity of doing this huh''

I'm now shouting with so much passion that the whole lounge is staring at me, silent.

I clear my throat , wishing very hard to not look ''stupid'' , put my staff badge on to look more professional . Me and my dignity are off to work.

3 hours of happy cleaning. dancing to Dutch music like a teenager one minute and acting like the toughest manager the next. The interns are used to my multiple personalities now. Sort of.

We're now talking about sex and relationships (why always that) and she tells me.

'' This bed looks good enough right?''

'' We don t do good enough here WE ONLY DO PERFECT'' I answer with a tone that no was no longer joking , re making all beds, checking the bathtub for hair.

Oh dear. The monster is back.
　
2pm the first guest arrives.

I check her in. She tells me she lives in London and she's currently trying to extend her visa.
I told her about renewing my visa in Thailand. I just had to take the boat to Myanmar give the immigration a 10 dollar note and I could happily go back to the country for another 2 weeks.

'' Have you tried doing this over here? It might work'' I say to her.
I show her around . the dutch intern is throwing me strepsils because my voice is gone , the manager is cooking a huge lunch for everyone, the rest of the staff is happily joking in the kitchen , I 'm now taking her upstairs . That's when she told me the thing that makes me the happiest in the world. Success for all my efforts ,the coronation for months of '' Stupidity''... THE thing.

'' Are you guys family?''

I was moved to tears and wanted to throw myself in her arms and tell her what it meant to me. But I remembered the voice in my head

Places like us have to work twice harder to be taken seriously..

'' We are a family of the world indeed telling her where we are all from while politely showing her the toilets to your right hand side , always clean bcause we check all the time. Same as the dorms, very clean ( hoping to NOT find the pigeons there today)

What are you trying to prove with this forced BBC accent Annabelle?
Whatever I was trying to prove worked , she loved the dorm.

A few hours later
'' I'm giving you unlimited powers, big jumps , and invincibility and you manage to DIE ANYWAY , Annabelle?'' The dutch intern tells me later.
'' What fun is it if you can't die?'' I answer after shouting for 10 minutes.
The guest at the computer finally turns around to se what the hell we're talking about. It was the now infamous '' guest with the comb''

I'm playing with the intern's Nintendo DS. My invicible Mario just fell into a big hole and died for the 4th time.
'' I'm playing because I'm not on duty '' I say to the guy who had no idea why I said that.


He stares, as usual and goes back to playing cards on the public computer.

I start my shift at 4pm and the event staff start theirs at 6pm. Basically they have to make sure this place feels Home to everyone and I have to make sure that this place is a workplace. Tonight we're doing free pnacake and xbox for our lovely guests. What a nice place I think , still in love with my job....

'' There is a problem with the toilet's door in the dorm I think''

There he was, still staring. The guest with the comb.

Oh dear. There is no bloody problem with that door. Oh well, professional, I go with him so he can show me.

'' See you can get in...... he starts , as I was getting in.

Yeah I can see that as I was sliding the door shut behind me.

'' But you can 't get out'' he continues.

SURE. You could not have told me this BEFORE I GET LOCKED IN THE DORM 'S TOILET WHILE I'M ON SHIFT?

'' Can you open?'' I ask him , as I'm trying to get out.
'' Sorry???'' he asks.

'' OPEN THE DOOR'' I now shout.

He finally opens. I tell him politely that we will take care of it. I then put a very polite, apologetic poster telling people they are welcome to use the other toilet on the same floor for the moment being''

Everyone happy.

6.45pm 15 minutes before the event is due to start. A very polite lady comes in to reception

'' My son is really interested in taking part to your pancake and Xbox night but.....''

Oh dear, I expect any problem , judgement , health and safety issue.

'' But he s autistic. He's very different''

'' Who is not nowadays I joke . Look around you here, we're all a bit different... aren't we? . '' I said realizing that is ZE wrong thing to say.

'' He does not cope with people being LATE,he does not understand the concept and gets bored. that really sets him off. So I just wanted to ask you if you were starting at dead 7pm.

'' Of course we are '' I say obviously faking it.

She leaves and I'm running around the hostel telling the story to my manager in French so no one understands ( I obviously forgot that we have a group of 18 french teenagers in the building who don't speak ENGLISH ) , she translates to Romanian to the staff . I don't understand Romanian but it was something like

'' You d better be on time or I kill you '' because he ran to switch the Xbox on and we got the 2 interns playing. One of them is off today but hey, we're a big family.

2 hours later as I'm being my professional check in lady who also deals with money / washing/ checking toilets / bookings in I remember

'' Shit , Xbox night. See how the interns are doing.''

I go to the lounge. It is packed with people of all ages, nationalities happily playing some crazy game together.

'' Annabelle, she's cheatiiiiiiiiing '' says one of them accusing the other.

'' So pass your turn then '' I say , while checking my Deep cleaning planning sheet for the month.
\
'' So who is that autistic guy then?'' I ask the Dutch intern telling her to be careful and professional.

'' He's Dutch , he 's cool!'' she says running back to playing with random guests like she's known them all her Life.

No, I could not see anyone ''different'' from the others that night. They were all laughing /cheating/ stuffing themselves with pancakes THE SAME WAY.

10pm that same polite lady came in to reception again.

You know, my son had fun tonight she says. If there is one thing autism does to you is the feeling of loneliness. And tonight he did not feel it. Thanks.

'' Ok thanks '' I say briefly hiding my emotion. ( yes I can do that sometimes)

A few tears later I thanked God ( or whoever) for Kipps.

At 10.30pm all my duties were done and I was in the kitchen finishing to clean it, being very careful not to leave anything undone.

The French group of teenagers was in bed and 3 exhausted leaders were standing in front of me.

'' They are awful these kids Annabelle. They have no gratitude whatsoever. All we do for them.....''
STOP. CHILL OUT.


Right. I directed them to the garden telling I ll join them after 11pm . We all know it's NOT about the kids.

That's how I ended up speaking my own language sharing a cider with french people talking about education and blaming our government for it ( shit, don't we have a socialist government now?. Ok We'll blame the parents )
They had exactly the same questions as me.

Why can't other people see what we see?

Your work is your passion , money is something you use for your passion and other people , why is it so difficult for people to understand that? Why are we, the ones with the passion for our job,   ALWAYS the ones stuck with credit card bills and mistaken for lazy clowns . WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO PROVE THAT WE"RE SERIOUS AND PROFESSIONAL TWICE AS HARD AS OTHERS ?????

These guys have big passion for kids but little money and little credibility from anyone. Kids, Who cares about them?
We always have to fight so hard to be taken seriously...

Breathe Annabelle, breathe.......

An idea comes to my head. How about WE stop thinking we're different?

They complain about the lack of support from their hierarchy.

I'm silent. can't relate to that. Because we have it, in Kipps, the support.

It starts with Kipps..............

I explain how the world is gradually changing and how the ''right'' people now get to the top. I explain what sort of person used to own Kipps 2 years back and how the right guy got at the top in the end , the one who allowed us to have free pancakes tonight, free cake tomorrow night and free pasta next week.

210 . That's the number of days I felt stupid this year. Today seems different though. I can see things differently now that I write about them.

Yes, the world is changing and yes, it's worth waking up at 6am EVERYDAY to write about it.
Spread the word.

A day off ...

Yesterday it was my day off. Day off... what, we can't really tell when we live where we work.

If you really wanted to be off you d wear a '' I'm off today. Please do not talk to me'' Tee shirt.

But we're not like that , or we would not live here.

Me and my manager usually start the day with an early run ( it makes us look so cool to say that). Ok ok we've only been doing this for a week. And off the booze for 2 weeks ( reality : 5 days)

We come back to the hostel , that's when I saw our Taiwanese guest with his bike ready to leave. THANK GOD HE'S HERE.

Flashback last night :

Taiwanese guest : '' Want go London with bike. Go motorway M2 ?''
Me , thinking about a million other things about my shift '' yeah yeah all right''

Me, 1 hour later : WHAT ? He wants to ride his bike on ......the MOTORWAY?

Where the hell is he? I've got to tell him.

I never found him.

There he was this morrning , ready to go.

I rush to tell him '' No M2 , very dangerous A2 better '' ( Why do we always speak like this to foreigners with little English? It used to annoy me when I was one of them)

Taiwanese guest '' ok A2 ok . You come Taiwain'' he says giving me a hug.

That's how I almost killed a Taiwanese at work and saved his life on my day off.

I get back in and there s an email from an American Lady who wants to send us chocolate muffins because I answered her email and translated her balance into american dollars.

Why would I need a day off  this job.

'' Annabelle I kill you'' my other romanian work mate.

SORRY I'M OFF TODAY.

'' The guest came to pick up his laundry in a towel and it was not done. He had not even underwear to wear. What the hell did you do last night?''

Here , there is no big brother watching you. Only big sister telling you off straight away.

The bag was labelled ''laundry'' . For me landry means '' CLEAN laundry'' , not dirty laundry.

Bloody positive people . The glass is always half full huh ........

I apologize. I'd better go....

I go through the kitchen to reach my room and there he is. '' The guest with the comb '' ( see yesterday's post) , still staring at me.

'' Don't stare at ME , I'm off'' my tee shirt should say.

'' I want a hot chocolate '' he finally says.

I give him the hot chocolate powder with a smile.

He looks at me like '' YOU DON T WANT ME TO MAKE MY OWN HOT CHOCOLATE DO YOU?''

Mmmm This is all a joke.Alternative technique : show him to the hot water in the breakfast room , still with a smile!
HINT.

I get my stuff for the day and asks reception if they need anything while I'm out.

'' You can still buy new underwear for that poor guy!'' one of them shouts at me.

Time to make myself scarce.

So what does a hostel worker do on her day off? She spends the day ALONE, first and then.... She becomes a traveller again.

I remember the state of my bank account ( don't start me on that) . Plus no wages this week because I asked for 2 last week.
10 quid in my pocket. So much for travelling.

Well travelling is an attitude. To me, It's basically going somewhere you ve never been and explore new ways. Get out of the comfort zone for a bit. You've always been to Tesco? Now go to Morrissons. ( Am I not so British?)

That's how I jumped on the bus to Margate.....

30 minutes later I was on a sandy beach in England crying for Australiaaaaaaa.

Anyway, that's not how I imagined Margate would be like.

'' Margate, 2'' says the sign.

That's probably because I am not in bloody Margate. D'oh. Typical me. Wanna go somewhere and lands somehere else. That reminded me when I had a train booked from Kings Cross station and I went to Charing Cross instead. Bloody crosses. Made me run in the London tube like a proper french tourist.

So where the hell am I this time then?

I know! I go on facebook from my phone and see the location of my post. '' Wesgate on Sea''

WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

Ok. Then I see '' Broadstairs 10'' . That's not that bad. Nice cliff walk looking over the nicest sandy beaches in the South of England ( the only ones too)

Let's go.

I forget the hostel , I forget I even live in this country. I was back travelling and was rediscovering English culture through the eye of ze foreigner that I am.


People wearing jumpers on the beach , reading The Sun at the pub having a pint of Carlsberg, bored Life guards talking about the weather. People rushing to Primark because there's 70% off today . I know this culture so well but I cannot stop being fascinated by it.

I'm a big fan of cultures. So , on my day off I do some ''culture spotting'' and I get lost too.

3 hours later I realized that 10 actually meant 10 MILES, you stupid French person. Who counts in kilometers these days?

I was in the middle of absolutely nowhere, I lost track of the trail, I ve got 2 quid on me , a bus ticket that is maybe valid and no service on my phone.

There I was, travelling again. It reminded me of that time when I got on that 3rd class over night train to Bangkok with only dinner money. I was the only European with a bunch of locals ( and insects of all sorts ) . No one spoke my language and I did not know if the train was REALLY going to Bangkok.

I felt the same today.

'' All right luve?'' a guy asks me.

I'm now on a beach , still looking for that damn path. All around me, British culture. Tattooed people smoking and yelling at their kids. AKA chavs. I'm looking for the toilet but they're closed for '' damage''

'' Sure... Mate'' I answer , not really wanting to play the lost french tourist on that particular beach. Plus my fake cockney accent REALLY sucks.

It reminded me when I was living in the ''worst'' part of Melbourne called Frankston. Over there, chavs are called Bogans. And Frankston was locally called Bogan Town.

I kept a low profile for the first few days but then I ended up having loads of friends , got a job at an ''op shop'' and made french crepes for the whole neighbourhood until the guy I lived with thought I wanted to marry him and I had to go. But that's another story altogether.

Those places you first think are hostiles, are actually the purest form of  culture.

A woman with a deep voice is now shouting at her kid who's only wearing a nappy.
'' oi we re goin' luv oiiiiiiiii' ''

I finally found the trail and off I went.

How far is this Broadstairs place then? I walk and walk with no idea where I was.

I was back in travellers' mode.  I even thought ' Where am I going to sleep tonight , with what money am I gonna eat? ''

Annabelle, get real... YOU LIVE HERE , you silly.

I finally reach a town. Wanted to ask people in polite English :

'' Sorry sir would you really mind telling me WTF I am??????''

But I did not. Bloody proud travellers.

That's when I saw the Broadstairs sign . I made it yay!!!!! It reminded me of everytime I found my comfort zone again when I was travelling to unknown places. Relieved.

I was standing in front of Charles Dickens house. For a writer, it's like the end of a pilgrimage.

Charles and I were only one ( tears)

The good part in this journey was the '' I can go Home to my family now''

When I walked in I felt I had been gone for a whole week Backpacking in India. I catch up with the latest gossip.

Knut , our 60 something year old german regular had checked out. Oh nooooo. It's like a part of me was gone. Ich liebe dich Knut ( we won't miss him in his underwear though)

It was BBQ that night. I happily helped the guys for a free burger and in no time I was back into my world, my comfort zone. Talking to guests about my day 'backpacking in England'' , taking the piss out of British sandy beaches with Australians over a burger INDOORS because it was too freaking cold out there.

I see the other staff looking at me entertaining everyone with my jokes and my now legendary energy and I know they sometimes wonder '' how does she do that?''

I don't pay particular attention to that because I know we can all do it. I'm nothing special. ( although I sometimes like to think it!)

Well , my answer is clear . '' I keep it real'' . I get out there , make mistakes, fail , succeed, get lost, take the piss out of myself,  get dumped , forget about my comfort zone just like them backpackers.

I am one of them. We all are

Like them I sometimes wish I could watch a movie in the arms of a man who makes me feel safe , in the privacy of a house more often than once in a blue moon in a flat somewhere in Brighton but like them I deeply know that we do not need that kind of closed comfort to be happy. We don't need it because we ALL have each other. Always.

My Lifestyle is about remembering all that for myself, and pass it on to others the best I can...

And in this Lifestyle , there is no such thing as a '' day off'' .