Thursday, 2 February 2012

Life as we don't know it.

Traveling for a living. People dream to do that. Get rid of their house, 9 to 5 job and routine, they're forever curious of what's in the head of the ones who are actually doing IT. The ones who are FREE.

Wanna know?

We crave .... a 9 to 5 job, a house and a routine and a sense of security. Without securing a future for ourselves Life seems to be a big black hole. Conclusion : Human beings do not like freedom.

But thankfully for us, that feeling does not last long..... until we figure out why.

We were brought up to think that. So when you're finally break free of all your duties you 're not happy at all. You feel like a guilty misfit.

That's usually when I stop and stare at all these well dressed 30 + business women on the phone to their clients having a cigarette on their way to work. Perfect make up , perfect manners. Perfect life.

'' I am really convinced we should sell'' I hear them say.


Then you look in the mirror and there's you. Same age, poor hair cut, wearing shorts and hiking shoes, with a kids sleeping bag ( it was on special) attached to your backpack. looking for a bed in a 10 bedded dorm backpackers hostel on a Saturday night in Melbourne and your job is '' volunteer writer'' .

That 's when your brain starts thinking : '' Where the hell did I go wrong?'' and your Spirit starts wondering '' Where the hell did THEY go wrong?''

You can't stop your brain from craving to belong somewhere ( or to someone or a social status ) BUT you can stop giving a shit about what your brain thinks. and re program it. Easy to re program 30 odd years of the same thinking ? Hell no.

The next dialogue has been my DAILY struggle for the past year :

Mind :Annabelle, You can't decently go with that amount of money. That's insane.
Spirit : You can't decently stay and not travel.
Mind: How about settling down and have a social status . And babies ? 33 mate. (sound of clock ticking)
Spirit : How about the writing ? And meeting people? That's your passion right?
Mind : Think about your insurance, and your retirement pension
Spirit : Think about a life of adventure and making people happy.
Mind: You don't deserve to be happy. Money is not coming in. Go sell'' the Big Issue'' on the street now. You belong nowhere
Spirit : You belong everywhere. People deserve to be around the positive You.
Mind : You will die alone and broke
Spirit : you will never die.


28 January 2012 : F***** it. I'm on my last 400 pounds , Money is obviously NOT coming in but I'm doing a great job writing about it. Whatever is supposed to happen WILL happen whether I eat peanut butter for dinner OR NOT. It will just happen SOONER.

That's when I decided to stop listening to my mind. Yes, maybe I'll end up selling the big issue or swim back to Europe but for NOW i'm living the F***** dream ( I swear a lot these days don't you think?)

Brain ‘s new pattern : '' Think you're on a holiday and you have a Home and a Job to go back to. But for now you can do what you really love''

And.... Bloody brain believes you and stops worrying.

Obviously the first thing you have to do is make a difference between what you REALLY love and what you nasty ego WANTS.

A night in a 6 bedded dorm instead of a 20 bedded in a backpackers hostel :I really love
A 300 dollar uncomfortable dress that I will only wear once to impress aussie guy : nasty ego
Sushi : borderline. But I really love. So be it.

Every day I ask myself '' What would I do if I was on a holiday?'' and I do it.
Turns out it 's exactly the same anyway , except that I work more ( read WRITE more) Isn't it ironic?

Well done, brain of mine.

I had the best 3 days in a city in very a long time. ( I used to hate cities because I have to spend the money I don't earn yet)

I was shown Fitzroy area by a French girl I met on Couch surfing. She was really cool. She only told me she was from Paris after coffee. It was too late to hate her.

I met a finish guy my age who came to the same conclusion as me : F**** it and live this Life of Citizens of The World. We promised to meet again when we are rich and famous.

I met Sky, from Tassie who wanted to marry me so I could stay in Oz. We spent hours chatting and she also came to the F**** it conclusion. It took us 5 minutes to talk about ourselves like we were sisters. After a 12 year relationship ( she's only 27) she decided to start living for herself and made the first step towards travelling. Amazing girl. We felt strangely close. Maybe because we both started to live Life as we don't know it.

Who said you could not love strangers the way you love your family.

And I met Cristina, a 50 year old eccentric and generous single Aussie woman. I had seen her profile on Couch Surfing and had invited her randomly for coffee. She told me that she also was travelling and then came cancer. She had to come home and get treated. She was fine but......

2 hours later I was holding her hand at the hospital when the doctors told her that there was a 50% chance that cancer was back.
1 hour after that , me and her decided, while laughing at the doctor’s manners and stuffing ourselves with french patisseries and italian coffee on Lygon street, that there was a 50% chance that f***** Cancer WAS NOT COMING BACK. So why not start to live Life as we don't know it. Nothing to loose.

One day, when I 'm a wealthy writer and she is a healthy traveller I'll take her to bloody Paris. But next week I'll take her to do her scan.

Who said you could not love strangers the way you love your family. No one. Because Strangers ARE your family

When you don't have those worries about money, security and possessions, strangers become a part of YOU.

After a whole afternoon chatting to my friend Sky on the riverside in Melbourne I decided I'd love to go back. You know THERE. To stay with a man I've known for ... 30 days. Not for comfort, not for security and , not to secure a future...Just because he's awesome!

Who said you could not love strangers the way you love... Hang on. That's a tricky one for me, that one. because you know...... ( you should see my face right now PETRIFIED.)

Shut up Annabelle, and start living Life as you don't know it... yet.

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