You can't buy your dream

'' Annabelle, for you. Wear this NOW''

Big Sister had been shopping again. I ve got 3 tops and... a necklace and earings? ?

'' But ... Why?'' I ask 

'' to thank you for all you do for us and the hostel ''

'' Ok thanks. But sorry I missed the part when I actually did anything for you? ''

　

So... I spend my time wanting the world to understand what I do and be grateful for my goodness and it comes only when I do..... NOTHING?

Ironic innit? 

I just do it   because I love it! I love Hostel work and I m actually really good at it when I don't play stupid

So is that is then. The secret of life and everything. ? DO WHAT YOU LOVE? 

I sort of knew it. So if you're  reading this thinking , shall I change my whole life and do what I love? Well.... do it. You ll get a silver necklace ( better than the golden medal for surviving a Life that's not yours anyway)

If you ve been following me for a while you surely know that taking stupid risks to do what you love cannot be as bad as not taking risks at all.

 Yes, you can survive for a a month in Australia with absolutely no money at all and no return ticket either. 

WHAT?  I'm now showing this as an example. Please do not try it at home but keep in mind that when you go the ''passion'' way , you are always strangely protected by.... Life?

The main thing that usually stops us from doing what we love is I CAN T AFFORD IT.

If I told you you'd have EXACTLY what you need when you need it , would you believe me? No? Time to read my blog again .... 

Right now I can always get by although I never know if I can afford to. I'm offered new clothes every week , I look like I can afford to look after myself ( wow That's a change) , I m doing a couple of extra hours to pay for good quality food and I can even eat like a normal person who has a Romanian Mama to cook for her. I sort of magically can afford to have an I phone too ( oh la la) How did that happen? 

Well, apart from that , you obviously have to chill out your vision of the world. And see the bigger picture of possibilities.If yo dont think week by week you are eaten with worry.

I currently technically cannot pay for my phone bill , my publisher, my credit card bill. But this is NOT the week to worry about it. It 's only in 2 weeks. ( it feels better now)  

My current money situation leads to some awesome conversations like this : 

Manager : '' So , Annabelle, you are going to a wedding in Dublin on the 23rd . When are you coming back?'' 

Me , clearing my throat to sound as professional as I can : '' I currently can not afford the ticket back but I will let you know when I can ''

Manager, used to it ''Ok, Sure''

.

I 've done it already. For my best friend's wedding in France. One week I pay for the way there , the following week for the way back. I plan my whole life week by week.

No I do not let my financial situation stop me from doing the things I want to do. That's probably why I haven't seen zero for quite a while.

Annabelle, traveller, sponsored by HSBC UK.

Guess what, I can even do the tourist bit too sometimes. I get free boat trips in Canterbury because I work in a hostel .The other day I was thinking I d like to see the White Cliffs of Dover .

Guess what my Kiwi lady friend comes to pick me up with her car yesterday and tells me

'' Let's go and see the White Cliffs of Dover''

Now where did that come from?

No idea. But I could get in for free as well .

Don't ask. Actually , yes ,  do ask , and it is given . That's what they say anyway. Ask and it is given. 

Whatever. 

　

'' We were both born on the 8 th Annabelle. The 8 is a money number'' She announces as we were on top of the White cliffs.

It's good to talk about the Universe and fairies sometimes. I've got her for that ( she's a Spiritual healer) 

'' Where the fuck is the money then?'' I answer. 

Ok maybe sometimes I do get mad about my financial situation. I forget that I ve got way enough to be happy RIGHT NOW and I blame invisible forces for not giving me more.

'' Look I ve been paying this bloody credit card debt for 6 months now and all I actually paid is 33 pounds. The rest? Charges.Given my current situation I technically will NEVER be able to pay it off ( don't tell the bank)'' 

I don't want to change my job, I love my Life I'm the happiest I ever been , screw working for money and shit.

But.... if everything stay like this, How do I make plans for Life????

As in , TRAVEL plans ( I don't see anything else I want to spend my money on. Plus it helps me understand my backpackers better and makes me better at my JOB. You know, the one that I love so much.'' 

Mmm catch 22 innit?

'' I'm absolutely pissed off that when I was a miserable teacher I had thousands of Euros saved up and no idea what to do with them besides buying sleeping pills and now that I live Ze Life, I've got debts in the bank? 

WTF?

'How do I take my friend who will recover from Cancer ( yes she will)  from Melbourne to Paris ? , How do I go visit my imaginary boyfriend in Canada? How do I go Home for the Summer holidays ( read '' Christmas in Australia) and how do I take you to France???? I tell her shortly after she asked me to come with her on a short trip to Monnet's gardens in September. 

As I said that her phone beeped. The message read '' Welcome to France, you can use your phone ....''

WHAT?

HAHA Very funny. 

We just walked on Water. After being Jesus for so long I 'm now being Moses. 

I stop moaning for a minute and I realise. I am standing at the top of The White Cliffs of Dover and I m not thinking to jump. This is absolutely stunning, I m here with a dear friend and I'm going home to my family after. 

I would never have thought that would be possible. 

Anything is possible in this Life . So Why worry about a few thousands of pounds that I don't even need right NOW?

That's what really always screws us up as Human beings. We think about the future too much.

Even when we live the Life of our dreams , We want the money to buy our Future. Like we don't trust the Dream is going to go according to plan anyway?

And you know what? I would have screwed my dream up if I had had the money to afford it. I probably would not even be here right now. And to be honest , there is no other place I'd rather be right now.

You don't buy your dream Life. You let it come to you . All it takes is guts to believe that anything is possible, because you know what?

Anything is possible....