The book of my life

" so what do you write about in your book Annabelle , is there sex and everything " asks me my Italian friend the last Napolitan obviously pondering whether or not he should go through the trouble of buying it and google translate it.
" it s about my life darling , so obviously no , it s not about sex"" I answer naturally although I m a but lying and a little embarrassed by the number of men I actually meet / hang out with / in the damn book.
What was I thinking? My chances of a long healthy relationship were already quite slim. Now that my whole country can read my fuck ups , I am destined to be the crazy old lady with cats.

I had to read the book again and give my consent to the publisher . That was my final step.
Mmmm let me think . No.
I wanted to lie and go " yep , perfect go ahead " but I can t lie and I would have written the truth sooner or later.

After a couple of day reading other books about spiritual awakening ( you d think that I d be fully awake by now but no) I decided to give a go to my own book. The one I wrote about my life traveling from January 11 to December 11. 158 pages of my life.

Of course I decided that the chick on the book was not me. You don t expect to face my own crap and move on by reading that book do you ?
That d be too easy.
So it s that chick who leaves her manager job to find answers about life and she comes back to Brighton with more questions . Awesome.
Next book?
Come on , let s be nice to this chick
So she ends up in the jungle in Malaysia first , working close to nature ie fearing for her own life checking her bed for deadly scorpions every night . Was supposed to stop smoking but had to keep her lighter to check her bed because she had no electricity so se decided to not stop smoking I the end . Then she got bitten by a rooster named sarkozy. A French chick who got bitten by a rooster named sarkozy in Malaysia what a fucking good book huh .
Then she goes to Australia. She thinks she a super traveller and is planning to see the whole country in a year , like everyone else. She ends buying a car living in a house get friends a job that she was desperately useless at but they kept her as the waitress because she had a French accent and it sounded cool. And she was sort of fun too. She travels 40km in 6 months and then sells her car to go to live in .... A Thai monastery ?????
Wtf ?
After 1 month of living in silence on A concrete mattress she realises she was probably not made for spiritual life as such.
She then lives in Bangkok for a couple of weeks with a friend of a friend he just met and became good friends , goes clubbing and go hit on by a Brazilian guy whom she did not go home with . Thank god for that because that would have definitely ruined what was coming...
She then decides to go back to England in her old life . After living all this ? Dream on girl... I could have told her. I probably did but she did not listen.
In her old life everything had changed but she got on with it , not realising that she was the one who changed d oh. she meets friends who can relate to her experience but she keeps thinking she can fit back into who she was .
She meets 1 guy . Doesn t work then 2 then another one . What ???? In one month ?
I m so embarrassed for this girl. And the fact that my mum and dad bought the book yesterday .
"You know there s a bit of fiction in it mum , it s not all true , otherwise it would not sell you see "
#embarassinglifethateveryonecanread
Best of all , she then decides to go back to Australia because she needed another change. I m now Screaming at the damn book. That s you who changed crazy cow ?
Oh shit. I should have read that book before ... Right ???
Well anyway the second book is going to be even more awesome . More fuck ups more men and still less money .
Annabelle or how to feel good about your life reading hers.

I m currently on my way to the airport going to France to meet my publisher and this first book of my life and I l m laughing.
When i finished reading it i thought : This life is a good book innit . Because it s funny and authentic. I love it, actually , no matter what !
In the end , your life is as good as you want it to be.
What story would the book of your life tell?