Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Australia's got talent

‘’ You’ll see, this job is easy. It’s just common sense’’ said my boss at the posh restaurant . Sure. Common. Sense. What the hell does that mean. Is that something people say when they can’t explain properly? Or is it something we ALL have. No because I’m missing mine. Shall I just add that to my resume? ‘’ People skills, bilingual, no common sense’’
In the past 5 months I’ve been a farmer, a cleaner, a manager, a dishwasher, a waitress, a front counter lady, a barista and a nanny. ‘’ use your common sense for f*** sake’’ . The ‘’ sorry I’m French’’ excuse kind of always made up for my lack of common sense. But no one kept me for my brilliant skills at the job. And that’s a little frustrating.
We all have different talents, my friends would say to me after yet another day at sucking at my job
People in their 30’s all know what they’re good at, right? I know great cooks, great interior designers, musicians, singers, gardeners, and baristas. Me? I’m just good at trying .
Me, Pip and her little 6 year old boy decided to open the Career Book , and pick a random job with our eyes closed. That will reveal our talent / future job ( yes that’s how life works mate. Who needs Job Centers) . Pip got Dietician. She is so good at cooking that it was probably the best option for her. She was very happy .Excitement. Little Dharni is a environmental scientist. Although he currently wants to be a Pirate, that sounds about right too. Super excitement. I could not wait for my turn. I was thinking humanitarian worker or psychologist.
WHAT? ENTERTAINER? Is that even a JOB? Yes look, it says clown here. All right so that’s my career. Some people go into politics, others save the world and I’m a bloody entertainer? I would not have taken it seriously if everyone I told about that did NOT say : ‘’ This is sooo you. Spot on! ’’ . And laughed.
I always wanted to be that scary person. You know that person who’s got so much charisma and authority that when she walks into a room everyone goes ‘’ shhhhh’’ . The woman you respect because she’s tough but fair. I ‘d like the little Dhani to say ‘’ Is it Annabelle looking after me tonight? She makes me work so hard , I have to respect the rules with her. And she’s such a great cook too’ But he doesn’t. It’s more like ‘’ Yay Annabelle is looking after me tonight! We’re going to play crazy games, do the homework with monsters and angels and a have a PJ competition. Then We will make up our own bedtime story which is going to get out of control . Yay! But please mum, can you cook dinner before you go?’’
I’ve tried. To be posh and serious and do what I’m told. But people always end up looking at me with that ‘’ come on mate, get REAL’’ look.
Freelance Entertainer could be a career .Not much money. Even though. You sometimes get tips for it. That guy gave me 10 dollars the other day just because I took his order in French. But it gives you smiles, laughter. So it’s a talent, right?
‘’Your talent makes you unique’’. I looked back at my week and thought How true is that?
Who else would call her boss / best friend in England with the intention of showing him how composed and emotionally balanced she had become, and starts crying her eyes off for no reason 3 minutes in the conversation. (I AM so mature now Lee. I swear.)
Who else would let a 6 year old cover her legs with drawings of Pink and Green Monsters 20 minutes before she ‘s due to go to dinner at a guy’s place. No the monsters did not come off. And yes I did spend the night. Now THAT’s talent.
Who else would have a 6 year old friend with whom she makes up loud barking songs on the way to school every morning?. We are soooo good at it. Was funny until I stopped next to a hot guy at the traffic light and my window was open. End of the song. Oh and no he s not my son. And I’m single. Smile.
Who else would pick the hottest Aussie Guy on to go and stay with in Byron Bay, tell everyone about it and have the following reply ‘’ Sorry I just got back from my honeymoon in Japan. When did you want to come and visit us? ‘’ Now THAT’s entertainment. Where is my bloody red nose.
Who else would jump in the sea when it’s 10 degrees just because June is Summer in Europe. That was so amazing… Until I got back into my car and looked at myself in the mirror. Make up was far gone , messy hair and covered in sand. That’s when I remembered that I would probably see that guy a couple of minutes later ( identity protection. Let’s call him the Pink and Green Monster Guy) . He looked at me, laughed and said. ‘’ Dinner tonight?’’ Why not.
Because in the end ‘’ It’s not what you look like or what you DO for people that counts. It’s how you make them feel’’. And that, mate, IS talent.

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