Ah sleeping in a hotel room after 18 days of concrete mattress and scorpion hunts. It's the idea of heaven. Except when you break your back jumping on the bed because the actual mattress is as hard as a rock and the only TV channel available in English is fox news.
Imagine my face after almost 3 weeks of non information.
Meditate sister, meditate. Or eat an insane amount of coconut coated peanuts. Like I did. Because I can eat whatever I want ( school girl out of school attitude )
Mmmm showers..... me can't use showers. Of well, I used the bucket like good old times. God, it's time I get a life..... right ?
The next morning I ask reception for the bus station in English with a Thai accent. I feel less arrogant when I use the Thai accent.
'' I drive you'' said a random old guy who was there. Pouring down with rain so I said yes. A car would be very handy.
Of course it was not a car. He throws a helmet and a rain coat at me. '' you wait here''
A freaking scooter. What scares me more than not knowing where 'i'm going ? going there on a scooter.
I saw my life before my eyes during the 10 minutes crazy drive through town. I saw England , France , Australia and said I love you to everyone. Did you hear it ?
''50 baht please'' and I got ripped off. Nice.
I had the spiciest noddle in my whole life at 7am and got on a random bus doubting it would get me to my destination for 3hours59 minutes. It did.
Back to Buddha central , I had this strange feeling that I would not live here for ever.I still wanted to see myself saving the world with English monks forever. Drinking coffee. It seemed at the time to be the best idea ever.
'' I'm in Bangkok, when are you coming'' Roy my favorite pom abroad with no deadlock ( he told me to correct that. It probably is just dirty hair . haha. )
Emails me 2 days after leaving the retreat unexpectedly on day 10 ( I am still soooo mad at you. )
'' I live in the monastery now, shaving my head soon''
I won't tell you what he replied. There might be kids or nuns reading. British humour. God do I miss it haha.
I'm staying on my concrete mattress. Stuborn ? Me ? No, it just takes me a while longer to get it. That's all. Remember I'm french.
Just when I thought that saving the world from a Thai monastery was actually a job I decided to check my balance.
No. Not a job. My Facebook status says writer but no, not a job either. Not yet anyway. Yes, I know, one day I'll be j.k Rowling. Now I'm just Rowling.
So I had 2 choices. Shave my head and eat rice until the end of times. Or get out there and find a job for a while so I can go and save the world again later ( is that how it works nowadays?)
Let me think. All the jobs I love are volunteer jobs. Teaching English to Thai kids, work in a bed in breakfast in mount Burrell Australia, write blogs and articles for websites ......
If I go back to reality it might as well be worth it. What ? Volunteer jobs are not jobs ? Damn.
So there's only one job I love then. There's only one I ever loved.
There's that email in my inbox that's been sitting there for quite a while.... I should reply to this job offer... There are people I love there and around there ...... a lot of them.....
So I simply replied to the email.
Departure Bangkok airport 29th august 4.30pm. Arrival London Heathrow 30th August 7.30am .
Then ? It just hits you. That there is nothing to save or nothing to hide from. Because loving YOUR world is sometimes enough to change it.
Because the world where I come from is worth loving too ...
My name is Annabelle I'm french ( still) , I live in brighton, UK.