Friday, 16 September 2011

Speaking of witch ...

I promised myself that I'd never have a 9 to 5 job after traveling.

I can't even go back to the fitness level I left so let alone a 9 to 5 job.

Yes I still wake up at 6 to go run around on the beach with BMF, a bunch of crazy Brits and have a military fitness instructor yelling at me for 4 hours a week '' 76 wake uuuup'' or '' kiss the bench and wave the sun good bye’’ ( it's 6.45 AM)
And I can see myself last year, running around proudly wearing my green bib, proof of me reaching the highest fitness level ever.

'' Were you not a Green before ?'' Someone asks me as I still was day dreaming about my glorious days.

Yes . And now I'm a blue. A freaking beginner

No one goes from Green to Blue unless they had a massive injury that changed their life. NO ONE.

'' So what happened to you?''
'' Australia happened, mate , Australia''

No, you don't know the real meaning of chilling out until you actually live in Oz. Or when you come back to Europe after you lived in Oz for a while.

Then you can spot the Aussie tourists in England straight away. They are the only ones to 1/ take pictures of bloody squirrels. 2/ walk effortlessly everywhere in their thongs ( you pick the meaning you want to give to that) with a ‘’no wuckers mate’’ grin on their face. And 3 jumpers when it's still 20 English degrees.

So yes, I 've got to learn it all again. But how come I was fitter when I was a smoker? I asked my instructor. He asked me what exactly I was smoking.

So I had to have a conversation with my body . '' Look mate , you're 32. You can't give up on me just because I neglected you a bit for a few months. I gave up smoking , meat and sex for you ( latter not my choice but anyway) so you and me have to be friends again ''

Be patient. Yeah, right.

In Australia I became a spiritual being, you see. As in hugging trees and giving unconditional love to total strangers in a castle in the bush at 7pm every Wednesday night ( I love you guys)

I Australia I was clearing my chakras more often than I was going for a run.
In Australia 9 to 5 was my meditation schedule. The rest of the time ? Chill out with loved ones.
In Australia I did not rest 2 days a week, I WORKED 2 days a week.
In Australia my real job was spiritual healer. And I was my main patient. So I was always broke. But still happy (silly peaceful grin of face)
In Australia I got in touch with my Spirit.
And in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand I even lost track of my body.

In England I’m trying to re unite both.

So no, I definitely can't do a 9 to 5 job anymore. My current job is cool. Working with a bunch of crazy future ex travellers in my favourite backpackers hostel in Brighton is my thing.
It’s the type of job when you show up in the morning you know that there is no way you can predict what’s going to happen.

You will either be carrying a giant penis balloon to a 10 bedded dorm full of drunk English girls for a hen or you will try to guess who fell down the stairs drunk last night ( and that’s just the staff) looking back on CCTV cameras or come up in the morning and find your work computer screen having a life of its own. You will then catch yourself screaming the name of the night receptionist who obviously can’t hear you since he’s just gone to bed after eating his last ice cream 10 minutes before you showed up.
After 10 minutes of panic and hallucination you learn that it was your geeky boss playing a practical joke. He has full control of the work computer from his own house, miles away.

Of course. Where was I the past 10 years.

The type of job where the first thing your 20 year old gay manager tells you as he first moved in with you in your flat is ‘’ I have plenty of condoms, help yourself’’

So, no. This is no 9 to 5 job. I can safely keep in touch with my Spirit here.
And guess what? I checked in 2 spiritual healers into a dorm the other day! If spiritual healers start checking in to backpackers hostels the world is ready to hear about Spirituality.

‘’ Did you hear there were 2 witches staying in my dorm? ‘’ says a colleague of mine with panic.

Maybe not quite ready yet….

Unless someone they KNOW is also a witch.
And they got used to me lying on the floor with the impossibility to move since I could not align my body with my Spirit. No one found that weird. Not weirder than anything else in Brighton anyway.
‘’ Just try to breathe’’
‘’ I’m trying, darling believe me, but all I can do is stare at the ceiling. And make an occasional bed because hey, that’s my job dude’’ And My crazy colleagues get that. They even lied on the floor with me today. I love them.

So imagine ME in a 9 to 5 job.

No, that‘s NOT funny. To those who have ever smoked pot : that’s exactly the same feeling, but without your lungs turning dark grey.
For those who have never smoked pot: what the hell did you do with your life.
This state implies walking around the hostel with a ‘’ I can see dead people face’’ ( I can’t really but I can hear them. Haha. Gotya. Not yet actually. ), make
ing the worst mistake you can do in a backpackers hostel ( no it’s NOT sleeping with a guest , THAT is fine. It’s called an overbooking) or throw yourself in the English channel at 6pm to make it stop.

When all you REALLY need is your favourite 61 year old Aussie woman ( see previous post) to grab your hands and shake them firmly , saying ‘’ Now you’re grounded. Feeling better?’’ and then walk away.

Wow another person in touch with her Spirit. Oh sorry, another witch. Dear God, they’re everywhere.

It’s good to be a witch because you have a good insight on people’s patterns. You can with no problem say to your best friend
‘’ Look , if this guy does not reply to your email it’s because you reject yourself from the start. You play the best buddy, try to set him up with someone else when all you want is to have a relationship with him but you’re scared to get hurt. That’s ridiculous!’’ with a proud look on your face because you know you are spot on.

But the answer can surprise you.

‘’ I think you are right. But are we still talking about me or are we also talking about you here ? ’’
‘Me? I am SO not like that. ‘’

Oh. Shit.

Because , EVERYONE is a spiritual healer. We usually have no idea we are.

Yes, that’s why I promised myself I will never have a 9 to 5 job again. Because I need time for witchcraft.

Just need to check my working schedule for next week before I go.

‘’9am to 5pm , just like last week ‘’


Because it’s all about the attitude.

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